Fact-Checks & Fake News

Welp! Nothing about yesterday went as "planned"... time to initiate pick-me-up mode. Emotional management systems engage!! Logic brain, please take over emotional brain. 

Allow me to break it down for all you voyeurs out there... ahem, loved ones. ;)  

1. Claim: "It's gonna be a BIG A$$ DAY".
   Truth: It was a day that made me FEEL like a big a$$. Fact-checking below supports my case.
   
   
2. Claim: "Imaging will be involved to understand progress." 
   Truth: No imaging, at least not yet. MRI will happen one week after the last round of chemo. From there, we'll determine whether MORE chemo is needed. Ugh. Patience is apparently a virtue [I don't have].
   
   

3. 

   Love you forever, Lan. 

   Claim: "We'll begin to plan and schedule next steps on surgery."
   Truth: In PART true. I basically just reinforced my desire for a bilateral mastectomy [sorry if that was jarring for anyone for whom this is new news, but my decision has been made so I never have to worry about this $hit ever again]. So we started shifting the conversation to reconstruction options. New boobs, anyone?!
   I will get a call today from scheduling to do two things - 1) schedule a plastic surgeon consultation and 2) SET my surgery date.
   
   Things just got REAL.  And potentially MUCH sooner. Doc explained that all along I was thinking surgery HAD to happen 6 weeks post last chemo, but it turns out I was wrong there, too. It has to happen BETWEEN 3 and 6 weeks post last chemo. 😮
   Upside? All of this is about to be behind me much sooner than I'd expected, which means I'm on a plane to Italy that much faster - initiate Hallelujah chorus!!
   But downside? If we pull things up, I will have to reschedule and replan my August 7th remission party which had been beautifully coordinated with my best friend coming into town from Colorado... here's hoping flight switching costs aren't too bad?? I can't imagine celebrating without you, Lanny B. 
   
   
4. Claim: "How I feel is indicative of how successful everything's been going down."
   Truth: Not incorrect per se, just not as incredible as I'd been hoping for. No valedictorian status. Little cancer koala's still clinging for life to the damn pectoral tree... Sumunabatch.
   
   Listen, don't freak out. This isn't horrible [as in life-threatening], it just means the risk of two more rounds of chemo is still looming out there. Which, if you're following along, could mean yet ANOTHER rescheduling of EVERYthing. Exhausting, right?!? Believe me, it all seems as confounding to me as it probably does to you right now. But apparently the logic is that it's harder to get a surgery in the books than it is to reschedule it, which is why we start there, then move if the chemo needs to push out further. 
   
   
5. Claim: "There's only one way this thing's gonna play out: a big fat W on the board."
   Truth: Fact. All of the above is just part of the journey. And mostly the part wherein I'm reminded that neither my MBA nor my Masters in Italian make me qualified to practice oncology. Of COURSE I feel like I'm learning at a rapid pace - this is NEW material!! And JUST as I'm starting to feel like I can shift from level 101 to 102 in Chemotherapy Studies, I'm getting plopped into new curriculum - Surgical Oncology and Reconstructive Sciences. I just have to remind myself that I'm only rounding out the first pass, and there's still a whole second leg of the trip. It's just the damn optimist in me... bless her heart.
   
   
6. Assorted Beliefs: Which reconstructive option is easier, less painful, faster, applicable to my body type...
   Truth: ALL pretty much incorrect or somehow flawed. As of this moment, I'm basically a failing student. Who knew Doctor Google could do me so wrong?!? From this point forward, I probably want to disable any Googling related to reconstruction. I just need to go back to the fundamentals - when in doubt, ask a doctor from my care team. No different than I said from the start. I just got lured into the DIY vortex... so satisfying for the I-need-answers-yesterday types like myself. Problem is, one-size-fits-all makes about as much sense for reconstructive surgery options and outcomes as it does for bras. And if you ever saw me try on a double D... well, you get the gist.  

So in keeping with my cheering for the basketball team theme from yesterday: this is just a small time-out. We're still approaching the big half-time show. We're still points ahead. We've got the ball. Now kick those yams until they smack your ears, cheer until you lose your voice, and feel that drum beat booming in your chest. We can WIN this, we just gotta keep the momentum... my big finish kiss is waiting for me. 

And the crowd goes wild.