Round 3 Recap

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When I was 9 years old, I made a small mistake that changed the course of my entire life: I looked up my name in our family dictionary. And can you imagine what I got in return? Weary. Yep! WEARY. And it didn't stop there. It tortured me further by unfurling a biblical story of Leah, the girl who could not bear children and a sister who could, thus rendering her useless and a familial disgrace. This "defining moment" at NINE years of age sadly shaped the way I saw myself for the subsequent 3 decades of my life. 

I mean, WEARY... tired, connotations of frailty, the opposite of strength, courage, bravery... just. plain. weak. Ugh. 

Enter Cancer. Flash-forward to Round 3 of 4 chemotherapy treatments. Right in the depths of my fight.

Because I've never forgotten my "namesake", after 5 solid hours of treatment [without an allergic reaction or a single drop of tears], I was compelled to inquire about the strength of the drugs I had just endured and understand others' responses to it. I saw it as a form of benchmarking to test whether or not mine was as-expected or maybe, just maybe, proof of my true fortitude thus rendering my "definition" inaccurate and obsolete. 

The result? My chemo nurse responded with eyes-wide-open and locked to mine. "Leah. These are some of the strongest chemo drugs we've got. How you are responding is most certainly NOT the norm. It's your strength, your attitude, and how well you are taking care of yourself." I got chills. She'd single-handedly renounced and rewritten my definition. One I was more than ready to red-line myself but had now finally been able to erase by a most-worthy story editor. 

So the good news: my tumor is now clocking in at only about 1/4 cm (DOWN FROM 3!!). But the not-so-good news: it’s still holding on for dear life to my pectoral muscle. I imagine it as a twisted little koala bear just clinging onto its eucalyptus tree… and I'm just begging - please let GOOOO!!! 

But here I am, just doing the best I can despite these evil cells inside me. I'm watching and waiting and living and breathing and moving forward. Because I'm not weary, I'm just worn-out, but only temporarily. I'll bounce back like I always do. Because what do they got that I ain't got? 




Comments

  1. AnonymousJune 10, 2022 at 3:48 PM

    Awesome girl! Keep fighting and dancing hard…maybe shake that bear off! ❤️ Aunt Jen

    ReplyDelete
  2. Aunt FlorenceJune 10, 2022 at 5:23 PM

    For sure you have COURAGE but you have so much more! You have a HEART that’s kind and filled with joy and you definitely have a BRAIN! You have used all of those things to inform, encourage, show joy, educate and entertain all of us, while setting a good example of how to face adversity! Your sweet little daughters, my great nieces, are so lucky to have you and their daddy, including them in this ‘fight the evil bug’ health marathon. I’m giving you all virtual hugs from Florida.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Leah CottermanJune 13, 2022 at 6:10 AM

      I'll take them all, Aunt Florence. The road feels long today, but it will be a faded memory soon enough... xoxox

      Delete
  3. AnonymousJune 12, 2022 at 9:44 AM

    Leah, we are all touched by what you are giving us. Let our energy flow back to you. xxxxoooo

    ReplyDelete

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