Tonight’s Big Story

I began wondering what the end looks like for me. Not THE end, just at least one of the final culminating chapters of this story I’m clearly writing. And I’ve decided it’s a dance number. 💃🪩 Ready to put even Footloose to shame.

One of my MUCH loved work besties I’ve “collected” through my life, Mary, came to visit me last night as a send-off to my second round of chemo. After the Leah-turned-fixer-upper-realtor tour through our 108 year-old money pit, we brought our chat outside around a marshmallow-sticked and kid-sticky-lipped firepit. Hours later as we prepared for final evening send-offs, I revealed a little working secret like I’d done so many times with her before. I trust Mary completely, so I knew she’d not only support the idea, but bolster me enough to continue making the steps necessary to manifest my destiny. 🚀

The idea? A blow-out remission party the likes of which have never been seen. Why? Because if celebrating life DIDN’T come with loud music, dancing in the streets, food trucks, and a mobile mammogram unit (you’re coming THROUGH for me on this one, OSU James!!) then I don’t really see the point of it all. 

I leaned in to describe my vision. And I began with my obligatory preface “this isn’t about self promotion”. But the MOMENT the words escaped my mouth, I heard the lie floating there in the air space in front of me like smoke circles puffed out of the Cheshire cat’s mouth: it WAS about self promotion. I’d just gotten the inflection wrong. The whole idea of my master plan party was ENTIRELY about SELF promotion!! As in, putting our SELVES first - our most beautiful and sacred health. Through early and regular mammograms, the power of positivity, prioritizing our mental needs through self care, being our own best friends… YES!! Sing it with me!! Me me MEEEE!!!

And then the final dagger just murdering any self doubt on whether or not I should push this big idea through to the finish line came to me like they all do. With a Bill and Ted stoner-style WHOOOOAAAA… 

Two of the biggest breast cancer research funds and related events for fundraising that most people in Columbus, Ohio are familiar with are named after women who LOST the fight. Stephanie Spielman and Susan G. Komen most CERTAINLY deserve their honor, I do NOT deny that fact. But the gap in the market became clear as crystal to me: Where was the celebration of making it THROUGH?!? The celebration of living LIFE? And overCOMING cancer?!? To me, the positioning is all wrong, as if an inevitable outcome was just looming in the distance for all to anticipate, not fight for. 

And my calling smacked me straight across my face. 

So, here it is. I’m about to let my face-scratchin’ cat outta the bag… somewhere in about August (post chemo and hopefully post surgery), you better ALL get ready. Like, every channel news team better set up shop. Because I’m. On. A. Mission. I warned you guys when I was first diagnosed… I’m not here to cower in the corner. I’m the kid who always raised her hand first. And this time, I no longer care if it pisses off the teacher. I WILL make this happen. Can’t get city permission to shut down a street? Fine. I’ll set up in a park. Can’t get an ordinance to do that either? Fine. I’ll break the rules. Listen, I’ve never been to jail, but I’m MORE than happy to ride in the back of a cop car and log a night in the clink with my buzzcut like some kinda bad ass new character on Orange Is The New Black for this. HA! I may even suggest it! 

This just matters too much, and needs WAY too much of a spotlight shone upon it, that I just can’t stand down. So? I won’t. 

[More to come in the 7-o-clock news. Stay classy, Columbus.]

Been playing pretend for quite some time now... "anchor" Leah going live on the spot in 2020