Don't Believe Me, Just Watch

I was born to stand out. I mean, look at the facts. I'm nearly 6 feet tall, I rock a crooked Italian nose and eyes so big and round I've actually been ASKED if they're real. Oh, and I've got more energy than a slice of Doc Brown's plutonium. 

So, you're likely unsurprised to hear that lately I've been singing, dancing, writing, and striking up spontaneous conversations with strangers. Why? Because it’s literally been saving my life. 

And, I've decided "Dance like no one's watching" is getting it COMPLETELY backwards. Dance like EVERYONE'S watching is what the world needs!!! I mean, when you are so filled with joy that your body simply can't NOT move, why oh WHY would you not share that!?! Oh, and p.s. that applies to ANYthing that brings you joy. 

Yet I’ve seen it all too many times: people hold themselves back. And in the MOST inopportune ways it'll break your lovin' heart. 

I’ve listened to students "try" speaking Italian but have it come out sounding like a stoned sandwich artist at Subway when they could have done a simple imitation of me serving pure Oscar-level gold Apollonia from Godfather. Yet, niente. 

What'd you expect from a college freshman, Leah? you ask, rolling your eyes... Fine, I'll let you have that one. I'll go one better. How, then, do you explain EIGHT year old girls?!? 

Here's the deal: this last February I caught wind of the upcoming Daddy Daughter Dance here in my small town. What's that you say? I thought. Then swiftly conceived a plan to crash it. If you're curious how, I definitely reached out to the mother heading up the wrestling team's parent group that was throwing it for fundraising and asked if I could volunteer even though, no, I had no interest whatsoever in high school boys’ wrestling outside of the one I dated at 14. She sent me a list of ways I could contribute. I quickly scrolled past the I'll bring the cupcakes straight to the event PHOTOGRAPHER. Leah! I had no IDEA you were a professional photographer! Well, I hate to disappoint you, but outside of the old iphone selfie or twelve, I'm definitely nothing of the sort. Nonetheless, I was IN! And, HUGE surprise I'm sure, as the night progressed, I began morphing and self-promoting into the event DJ's personal sidekick like some cheesy wedding dance-starter doing the Macarena. [No, literally]

So, back to the little girls. You know, the ones who shouldn't yet have been touched by what now feels like the inevitable crushing weight a woman experiences of trying everyday to be beautiful, smart, skinny, likable, successful, COOL... Yeah, these fresh-faced, bright-eyed, bouncy-dress-wearing gorgeous girls HESITATED. 😳 I saw it in their eyes. They looked at each other. Then longingly back at the empty siren song of a gym dancefloor. The DJ was up there dropping top-charting beats begging to know whether or not you wanna go talkin' 'bout Bruno... and these baby chicks HESITATED!!! 

Welp! Guess it's a good thing I was there. And born without the chip in my brain that connects to my feet to stop me from dancing (inherited from my Grandfather admittedly, our family name literally translates to Dancers). Those sweet Columbian sounds hit my eardrums and I was instantly convinced Gloria Esteban and I were related. Head up, shoulders back, bum bum bum, shimmy shimmy, hip hip hip. Imaginary dance partner and ALL. 

It was only AFTER I'd christened that slick floor before those precious little girls began flocking behind me like little bouncing ducklings in a Samba line. Heart-breaking. 

WHY'S everyone holding themselves BACK, man?!?!

• WHY are sweet-smelling candles only burning when the guests are about to arrive?
• WHY is the best pink lip shade NOT first choice for a grocery run?
• And why oh WHY would anyone STOP dancing and singing in their car just because they hit a red light?!? [heavily considering an entire PSA campaign on this one]

My takeaway is this: if you were born like none other, you were born to stand out. p.s. we ALL were. When your body wants to dance and your mouth wants to sing, let that joy OUT and stop waiting for the thumb's up from complete strangers. Need one?!? Fine, here you go. 👍👍👍

And one last thing. My whole life I've been acutely aware that I'm "different". So much so that I have a WELL-practiced way of apologizing for it to people -- In a world full of vanilla, I'm more of a technicolor banana split. It's an acquired taste... But the truth is, I know I'm a light that shines bright. Lately I've decided it's perhaps because the world's so dark. So the real apology I ought to make to y'all out there? I'm real sorry, but you have TWO choices: either soak up some of my stardust like Ziggy and glow, baby, glow! OR... put on your mother-lovin' sunglasses. I gotta shiiiiiiiinnnnneeee...

[time for a karaoke break]