Girl you are amazing!! I remember all of those times Cristina calling you dramatic and loved being around you girls! You are a true inspiration. I’m thinking of you daily and wanted to share this with you! I started getting my mammograms at 35. You are so strong and your words are beautiful but not as beautiful as you were are and will always be💗 Keep that beautiful head looking up!😘
Leah: Finally got to the site this evening... No father would ever, ever want to experience your story, told so wonderfully, as you have. It's wonderful, because as painful as it is to hear as a parent, the strength of your true beauty comes hauntingly through your words, and your warnings to other women. If one woman takes your advice, and can muster a modicum of the strength you've demonstrated here, you'll have achieved your purpose...Making others better. You were always good at getting the job done. Your Father.
One full trip around the sun. Slingshot into the unknown by breast cancer. And back again. Spoiler alert... I won. I'm still me. Only better. My self discovery in a nutshell: I am a firefly. I shine brightest amid the darkness. I am a flamingo. I hold my head high, born to stand out. I am a phoenix. After going through hell, I come out on fire.
I've decided. This phase of chemotherapy shall here-forth be referred to as: Alice-in-Wonderlanding. Is it early morning? Mid afternoon? Am I late for a very important date? Take the small pill for this, big purple pill for that. Patterns, colors, lights go out... and I'm fast asleep. Or am I? Doctors warned me that chemo rounds 5 and 6 would hit me demonstrably harder than the four just prior. I was ready, and they were right. And it's a good thing I don't mind mentally strolling through fantastical self-made fairytales given this is what extreme exhaustion can induce. In between my foggy images of real and imagined, I find it funny to look back at my own memoir. I can see the blueprint so clearly. I gear up, go to battle, feel roughly 2 days' worth of invincible thanks to steroids and adrenaline, then... I'm reminded of my own mortality. Sunday night was no different, but perhaps with just a bit more weighty nudge. I’ll begin with an explanation, Let me gue...
OK, it's a been a minute. A month to be exact. Sorry I went dark. If I'm honest, it's because I went dark . The morning after I finished chemo, I woke up to the reality that my journey was FAR from over. Oh, my optimism, my mortal flaw. To my dismay, I hadn't suddenly woken up to feeling normal, looking normal... and it hit me pretty hard. Just to the contrary, and to my utter heartbreak, I CONTINUED to lose my looks. In fact, I'd say, the very last of them I had remaining. My eyebrows evaporated. My eyelashes evaporated. My confidence eVAPorated. Go ahead, call me shallow. Call me whatever you'd like. But when you go from beauty to beast, it's soul-crushing. Today I look like an old, dying grandpa. Receding hairline, sunken sallow eyes, gray skin... nothing even makeup or wigs can solve anymore. So yeah, I've laid low. Week one post chemo was hard. Week two was harder. My mastectomy was approaching and all of the nerves, second-guessing, and worry b...
Girl you are amazing!! I remember all of those times Cristina calling you dramatic and loved being around you girls! You are a true inspiration. I’m thinking of you daily and wanted to share this with you! I started getting my mammograms at 35. You are so strong and your words are beautiful but not as beautiful as you were are and will always be💗 Keep that beautiful head looking up!😘
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Crystal. I guess like they say, keep your head up or the crown might slip! ;) xoxox
DeleteWell [blushing], thank you for your kind words. I'm just here to help all the beautiful, powerful women (or soon-to-be) that I can!! xoxox
ReplyDeleteLeah:
ReplyDeleteFinally got to the site this evening...
No father would ever, ever want to experience your story, told so wonderfully, as you have. It's wonderful, because as painful as it is to hear as a parent, the strength of your true beauty comes hauntingly through your words, and your warnings to other women.
If one woman takes your advice, and can muster a modicum of the strength you've
demonstrated here, you'll have achieved your purpose...Making others better.
You were always good at getting the job done.
Your Father.
like father, like daughter. thank you Daddy :)
ReplyDelete